KG200 Site - Recruitment - An example interview

We here at KG200 see many eager young pilots knocking on our door. Yet most we find to be lacking in the "right stuff" required for a position in our elite force.

Perhaps it is best illustrated with this example interview from Generaloberst Nonsense (the bigshot) & one of our finest examples of a recruit (perhaps you can figure out who this recruit is) :

Generaloberst Nonsense:

So, you want to be a Bomber Pilot?

Recruit:

A B-24 Pilot, Sir.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

And why particularly the B-24?

Recruit:

Because Sir, I am in love with that aircraft. That magnificent machine of steal and gleam.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

That's very poetic. Please continue.

Recruit:

This aerodynamic Delilah. Its massive wings and incredible payload. The whirling of dials and needles. The illustrious uniform of the Mystic KG/200 Command. The click of the heels in salute, the flare of the jacket, the wide, long-skirted hang of it, and oh, the low shiny peak of the cap.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

I think that's enough, recuit !

Recruit:

But Sir, the danger, and the glory of death! A young and dashing life gone up in flames! Blonde maidens weeping :-(

To die for one's country. To set forth in a silver lance to joust with the forces of darkness...

Generaloberst Nonsense:

They don't always crash, you know. Our B-24's don't always crash.

Recruit:

It would be an honor to crash in such a plane.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

To be mangled and scorched?

Recruit:

To be hideously mutilated beyond the recognition of one's own mother...

Generaloberst Nonsense:

wait, Is that... MAKEUP you're wearing?

Recruit:

Makeup, Sir?

Generaloberst Nonsense:

Makeup. MAKEUP! On your face! Is that MAKEUP?!?

Recruit:

But... only ladies wear makeup, sir.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

Are those false eyelashes and what's that black stuff around your eyes. Is that mascara?

Recruit:

All right. I can see it's no good lying to you, sir. I confess. It is... and mascara too. But only a little bit.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

What on Earth for?

Recruit:

It's for my mother, sir.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

Your mother?

Recruit:

You see my mother was the first woman to fly the Atlantic in a (pause) Gaseo Glider.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

A Gaseo Glider?

Recruit:

A machine of my father's invention. You see he was too much of a professional aeronautical inventor to actually fly it himself, so my mother took it, and tried to fly it single-handed across the Atlantic.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

And what happened?

Recruit:

She...she crashed. Spun down into the sea and was never seen again. They found only her false eyelashes, floating. And so, you see, ever since I have worn them and mascara in her sacred memory.

Generaloberst Nonsense:

I see.

Recruit:

Well sir. Do I get a plane?

Generaloberst Nonsense:

In view of the confessions you have just made, which must have taken a great deal of courage, I consider you an ideal type for the job. There's a plane for you waiting on the runway. Rages71 will give you an instruction manual on the way out. Oh, and by the way, recruit...

Recruit:

Sir?

Generaloberst Nonsense:

Don't let kgBastrd catch you wearing that stuff on duty. At least not in uniform, understand?

Recruit:

But Sir...

Generaloberst Nonsense:

Well alright then but don't forget he has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. And the mascara needs to be very subtly applied, is that clear?

Recruit:

Understood, Sir !!

Generaloberst Nonsense:

Righty ho, recruit !

Recruit:

Righty ho, Sir !!